My first memory I have was a three year old girl with wondrous eyes full of curiosity singing along to nursery rhyme songs. You were performing to a handful of people that consists of your mom, dad, cousins and aunts. You were a star. I always wondered where that little girl went cos I can’t imagine myself being the center of attention. I guess people do change.
You became a fearful little kid who always get bullied at school. Although you have some few friends, oftentimes, you were always alone by yourself on the outside looking in. An observer. I know those times were so hard for you living in an extroverted world as an introvert. But let me tell you this, it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to enjoy being alone cos that’s what you are. Don’t let anybody get you down just because you enjoy your own company. They just don’t understand. Embrace that part of you cos silence doesn’t always mean weakness. Sometimes it means courage. Not giving up, still goes to school even if it was torture, and I think it’s brave of you for doing that despite how much it stresses you out.
You always complain back then how you don’t have many friends, how you feel like no one notices you. But always remember that you are only invisible to those who doesn’t deserve you. You may only have two or three friends but I consider you fortunate. I mean, there are people out there who have so many friends yet they can’t share their fears and dreams to either one of them. Quality over quantity, that’s what they say. And I’m glad you chose to have the former.
Oh, the heartbreak. We’ve all been through that. You cry yourself to sleep, always wondering what went wrong, insecurities go bigger and bigger until you found out that it’s for the better. It’s not your fault and you’ll find someone better along the way. Focus on yourself more and love will just arrive. Someone will look at you with love in his eyes and will forever stay with you. Just wait for it. It will surely come.
How about you? What would you tell to your younger self?